


No Longer Human

by reimaden



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28187565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reimaden/pseuds/reimaden
Summary: Satan's been acting strange since the bangle's magic worn off. It's up to you to investigate why. Set right after the Angelic Demons event and based on the "A Demon's Desire" Devilgram.
Relationships: Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	No Longer Human

This wasn't like him. After their personality changes with the angelic bangles, you had worried about all the brothers. Levi had locked himself in his room, Beel was eating more than he usually does (which is saying a lot) and Mammon was turning the House of Lamentation to Mammon's Lament with his sighs. But the biggest worry for you was how it affected Satan.

You see him on the couch, intently reading a book. That's been what he's been doing the last few days since the bangles were taken off, burying himself in his library. It hurts your heart to see him like this. Any time you would call out to him, or try to get his attention, he would just look at you and smile. "Sorry, I got to a good part of this book." You couldn't even respond back before he put his head down again, engrossed in the pages. Even when you would ask what he's reading, he would just give you a sheepish look. "The words on the pages just don't seem to stick in my mind." While to an outsider, it may have looked like nothing changed, you knew better.

Smiles are nothing but an act. That was what Satan believed, at least before he met you. He knew how to create a facade, masking away his emotions from everyone else. You knew, though. The way his smile never seemed to to fully reach, his eyes not giving off the same sparkle of excitement whenever he would smile at you in the past. Any time you would go near him, he would apologize and brush you off, retreating to read on his own. He's never been one to speak openly about his emotions, so you needed to figure out what exactly was wrong on your own.

Unlike the other brothers, who had slipped back into their vices in an extreme way to overcompensate for the time they were changed, Satan did not resort to anger. He never did, if he could help it. Especially not to you. You two cared for each other, helping him to learn emotions other than anger. To see him distancing himself away from everyone, even you, constantly reading...your heart sank as you began to piece things together. 

"It feels like something foreign is forcing my heart to be calm." The words he said in his angelic visage haunted you. "I don't feel like myself at all." Unlike the other brothers, this was a form completely unfamiliar to the Avatar of Wrath. "I never took the form of an angel to begin with." He was still a part of Lucifer back then. "...Satan feels like he wouldn't exist without Lucifer." You knew of his identity problems that stemmed from his birth. Was that how it felt, then, when he was changed by the bangle? To feel the same as when he was trapped within Lucifer, forced to lose himself. Lose the very identity he spent millennia trying to obtain.

"No matter who you are, no matter the circumstances of your birth, if you're smart enough, people can't dismiss you." That was why he had such interest in books. This was what he built himself as, a well-studied, calm man. His mask. "Knowledge is power. People respect someone who's well-informed." As a former part of Lucifer, Satan had always felt he was in the shadow of his elder brother. Despite telling him otherwise, he still believed that whatever he knew would never be enough to ever leave that shadow. He needed to find validation, a reason for him to exist. To garner that from others, either through fear as the embodiment of wrath or respect as the knowledgeable facade he put up, would help stave off the creeping doubt in his mind that he shouldn't have ever been born. And yet to him, all of his actions would be eclipsed by the eldest. The most powerful. Something he would never be.

You find Satan in the library, once again laying on the couch near the fireplace. This was you two's favorite spot, cuddling against one another as you would both read and enjoy each other's company. However, this time he didn't invite you to nestle against his shoulder as he would wrap an arm around you. Too engrossed in his reading, you approach him from the front, not wanting to scare him. Taking a moment to watch, you see that, despite Satan turning the pages, his eyes never moved. That's when you notice the book's title. A human world novel you had gifted him, it was about a man who felt distanced from the world, trapped within despair.

Satan's hands are trembling as you softly call out his name. Before he could give you the same treatment as he did these last few days, you throw your arms around his neck. Moving onto the couch beside him, you give him a tight embrace. Pulling your head back to look at him, you see tears begin to well up in Satan's eyes as you softly kiss him on the cheek. "...I've forgotten what that felt like." A genuine smile was on his face, if still small, and it was the most beautiful thing you've seen. "Do it again for me." You oblige with a giggle, this time kissing him on the lips. The blush on his face grows at the contact, but soon he melts into your arms, returning the hug as the book falls from his hands. 

Your care for him brought life back within him. He could remember the first time he saw you, unimpressed by the human exchange student that had suddenly appeared. The interest that had piqued in him as you made pacts with his brothers. Regret as he recalled his anger when you rejected his offer of a pact. The blossoming of other emotions as you two grew closer. For the first time, he had felt something other than rage.

He was breathless as he pulled away from the kiss. "...I'm finally remembering things again. Thank you." His light laugh was music to your ears. Pulling you close against his chest, he rests his head on yours. "You came because you were worried about me, didn't you?" There was no teasing in his words, only amazement. For someone to care for him, someone that shouldn't exist, was something Satan had thought impossible. And yet here you were, breathing in the scent of his cologne as you nuzzle your face against his chest. Because no matter how he feels, you would always be there for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Obey Me devs please let me hug this poor sad cat boi more


End file.
